Shadow work is the art of tracking and sharing the parts of you that you’ve kept hidden or denied. As we share these parts, we build another level of intimacy with others and come deeper into connection with our authentic selves.
This kind of practice is learned gradually, in a small group setting where trust has already been built, so that sharing these hidden parts of yourself happens with consent and care rather than pressure.
Through the Eyes of a Student
By Shalini Tewari
I’m in a small breakout room with two other participants on the 90-Day Challenge. It’s our weekly informal circle where we practice the exercises outlined from the week prior.
This week’s practice is based on shadow work. Shadows are the parts of us that we either hide or deny for fear of being judged, shamed, abandoned, or rejected if exposed.
One of the participants begins the process starting with the stem ‘what I don’t want you to know about me’.
Our shares are light to begin; a few idiosyncrasies warm us into the exercise. We have never met one another in person, but we’ve created a container over the past two months that brings in a level of safety to explore these parts fully.
We take turns sharing and start with embarrassing habits, ‘what I don’t want you to know about me is that I enjoy eating junk food when I’m stressed or triggered.’
‘What I don’t want you to know about me is that sometimes I steal items from grocery stores.’
‘What I don’t want you to know about me is that when I work from home, I wear the same clothes daily without washing them.’
We are aware that the categories are going to be more revealing, so we welcome the light and fun parts being shared in this moment.
We move on to the next categories, actions that we are ashamed of having done to others, actions we are ashamed of others having done to us, and finally, sexual taboos.
Our shares become much more raw and vulnerable. With each person sharing, we listen with full presence and compassion. Sometimes a ‘just like me’ is voiced to express our solidarity and similarity.
It’s not an easy process, but the circle feels lighter even as our shares get darker.
There’s a sense of freedom and acceptance in openly confessing to those parts of us that we’ve kept hidden away deep in the recesses of our minds and bodies.
By sharing these parts of us, we feel another level of connection and intimacy fill the space. The more we open our hearts to the experience, trusting that we will be held in a loving space, the more we begin to open to receive all the different parts of us that we repressed, shamed, judged, resented or denied.
I can feel my body lighten and come more alive as we take turns to share these parts, each time going deeper and revealing more intimate truths that were kept hidden for so long. Layer by layer, our defense mechanisms drop as we shine the light of awareness and bring our full authentic selves into the space.
We close the circle sharing our medicine and recognition that the experience made us all feel much more connected to life, to all of who we are, and to one another.
Recording Notes
Conscious shadows and unconscious blind spots
Christian draws a distinction between two kinds of shadow. Conscious shadows are the parts we know are true about ourselves but choose not to reveal, out of fear of judgement. Unconscious blind spots are parts we are not even aware of, which act themselves out in our lives. He says reflection can help bring blind spots into awareness: through life itself, through others, through circle, through an amplified field, or through a mentor or coach.
Why the work matters
He frames shadow work as an activating practice rather than a purely psychological exercise. His view is that repressing shame, resentment or guilt also represses life force and vitality, so bringing awareness to hidden parts allows more energy to move. This is stated as his own understanding and teaching framework, not as an established clinical claim.
The practice itself
He describes a structured sharing practice, moving from lighter admissions towards more vulnerable territory such as shame about actions done to others, actions done to us, and sexual taboos. He is explicit that this stage of a longer programme asks people to draw on skills built over previous weeks, particularly trust, faith and the willingness to be met without knowing in advance how the other person will respond.
Christian's framing of authenticity
He links the practice to leadership and wholeness: bringing all parts of ourselves forward rather than leaving any behind, so that we become more real and easier for others to feel and connect with.
Choosing what to share
The practice depends on trust and consent. No one needs to disclose a particular experience, sexual history or painful memory to prove their commitment. Privacy, pace and the option to stop remain part of the agreement.
Two Kinds of Shadow
Conscious shadow
Parts of yourself that you know are true but choose to hide from others for fear of judgement.
Unconscious blind spot
Parts of yourself acting out in your life that you are not aware of, revealed through reflection, circle, or a mentor.
