The words may be careful while the body underneath them is braced, defending or asking the other person to make something inside you go away.
A free three-part video series
Better communication cannot help when your heart has gone offline.
These three sessions were filmed inside Love, Relationships & You. Christian and Sylvie show you what sits beneath the words, guide you through an embodied practice, and give you a simple way to recognise what your relationship needs before you begin the conversation.
Start the Free SeriesThree sessions · 66 minutes · Free inside the Heart iQ Hub
The conversation beneath the conversation
You can know every communication tool and still lose each other in the moment.
A technique is useful when you are available enough to use it. It becomes much less useful when shame, fear, collapse or protection has already taken over. This introduction begins there, with the part of relating most advice skips.
One relationship is asked to carry old hurt, present needs, repair, friendship, belonging and every form of emotional support.
One person arrives ready to repair while the other needs space, nourishment or time to reconnect with themselves first.
Real footage from the live room
This is an experience of the work, not a polished explanation of it.
Session One gives you the map. Session Two slows the pace down enough for the body to speak before the story takes over. Session Three helps you and another person locate where you actually are, so you can choose whether the next movement is repair, nourishment or expansion.
You can watch alone. The guided practices are stronger with a partner, a friend or another person who wants to explore how they meet you. Nothing in the series requires a romantic relationship.
Detailed session notes sit beside each video, including diagrams, practice instructions and clear ways to continue after the session ends.
25+years of practice
40,000+hours in circle
500+practitioners trained
30+countries reached
Your three-session journey
Understand the pattern. Feel what is here. Choose the next movement.
The release schedule begins when you enrol, so you have time to watch, practise and let each session land.
01
Available immediatelyWhy Better Communication Isn’t Enough
17 minutes
Christian shows why the right words still land heavily when the heart has closed, how early disconnection becomes protection, and why a relationship needs self-sovereignty, a living we-space and support beyond the couple.
02
Releases 48 hours laterLet Your Body Speak First
26 minutes
Sylvie and Christian guide you through Somatic Tracking, a practice for slowing down, naming the raw information in your body and discovering whether a movement creates more contact or less.
03
Releases 48 hours after thatKnow What Your Relationship Needs
23 minutes
Learn the Meta Check-In and the three relational directions: expand, nourish and repair. You will practise naming your inner weather, your availability and the theme without unloading the whole story.
Your guides
Christian Pankhurst and Sylvie Fröhlicher
The teaching is relational, and so is the way it is offered.
Christian founded Heart iQ and has spent more than twenty-five years developing this work in live groups, relationships and facilitator training. Sylvie brings the embodied practice into the room, helping participants translate sensation, impulse and impact into contact another person can actually feel.
The sessions keep the live-room quality intact. You will hear the pauses, the laughter, the course corrections and the moments where the practice becomes clearer because two people are doing it together.
Meet your teacher
Christian Pankhurst
Before I could train others to hold this work, I had to learn to hold it myself.
I'm Christian Pankhurst, founder of Heart iQ, and I will be your guide through these three sessions.
I came to this work through my own nervous system first. A childhood shaped by intensity and a lack of safety left me with anxiety and a deep sense of disconnection. What began as a search for relief became a lifelong study of what lets a person stay open and present in connection, especially when it gets hard.
I trained first in the sciences, with a degree in Human Sciences and Chiropractic, and then as a facilitator in Neale Donald Walsch's Leadership Education Program, where I was mentored as his protégé. Around twenty-five years ago I began the work that became Heart iQ, a structured and embodied approach to relational group facilitation that is now practised and taught around the world.
I have led hundreds of retreats and trainings since 2002, with people travelling from more than thirty countries to sit in circle with us. In 2016 we bought New Eden, our own custom retreat centre on its own land in the Frisian countryside. It moved this work out of hotel venues and into a home built for it.
I have never seen myself as someone who fixes or heals anyone. My work is to create the conditions where another person's own capacity and goodness can finally emerge.
“Christian Pankhurst knows how to articulate these messages as well as, if not better than I can. He is a profound source of wisdom and depth.”
Respected by peers
What leaders in the field say
“Christian is part of a very small group at the very top of the profession. I would place him in the top one percent of practitioners in trauma-informed group facilitation, and I am not aware of anyone else who combines his level of scale, structure, and impact.”
“Many facilitators rely on personal charisma and intuition. Christian has gone significantly further, turning what is often viewed as intuitive into a repeatable method that others can learn and apply.”
Held in the Heart iQ Hub
Everything you need, without another community to manage.
- Private video access tied to your Hub account
- Detailed notes, diagrams and practice instructions beside every session
- A clear bridge into the Insights to Intimacy ebook and companion course
- Later sessions stay visibly locked until their personal release time
If the series opens something
The next step is to practise this in a room where relationship is happening in real time.
Love, Relationships & You is the three-day live training where these recordings were made. The Netherlands edition takes place at New Eden from 1 to 4 October 2026. The Colorado edition takes place at Casa Sagrada from 5 to 8 November 2026. You can explore the live event after the series and decide from direct experience rather than a sales description.
Explore the Live TrainingA few practical answers
Before you begin
Is the introduction course free?
Yes. The three recorded sessions and their detailed session notes are free inside the Heart iQ Hub.
Do I need to join with a romantic partner?
No. You can watch alone and do the practices solo. A partner, friend or practice buddy can make the relational exercises richer, but it does not need to be a romantic relationship.
When do the sessions become available?
Session One opens immediately. Session Two opens 48 hours after your original enrolment, and Session Three opens at 96 hours. Rejoining does not reset the release schedule.
Is this therapy?
No. It is relational education and guided practice. You choose your level of participation, and either person can pause or stop a practice at any time.
What happens after the series?
You will receive a short documentary showing couples doing this work inside a live Heart iQ event. After that, we will invite you to explore the Insights to Intimacy ebook and companion course, and Love, Relationships & You if you want to experience the work live.
Begin
Session One is ready when you are.
Use the email address you want connected to your Heart iQ account. We will open the first session and send a secure link so you can return from any device.
No charge. No community feed. Your three sessions remain in your Hub.