Christian PankhurstFounder and lead facilitator
Love, Relationships& You
Three-day live Heart iQ training · No previous experience needed
Meet each other differently
For couples who want to stay connected when things get difficult, speak more honestly, and find their way back to each other without repeating the same argument. You learn it live over three days, in a room of other couples doing the same work.
Led by Christian Pankhurst, founder of Heart iQ
Netherlands · 1–4 OctColorado · 5–8 NovFrom €500 / $500 · Meals included
Two doors. One room.
How are you coming?
5,000+people experienced Heart iQ
30+countries reached
25years developing the work
When love gets caught in a pattern
You can love each other and still lose each other in the moment.
You may know the argument before it starts. One of you reaches, the other pulls away. One pushes for an answer, the other needs space. Soon you are protecting yourselves from the person you most want to feel close to.
These three days help you slow that cycle down, understand what each of you is protecting, and practise a different response together.
Why it helps to do this in a room
Something changes when your relationship is witnessed.
Most couples work happens behind a closed door with one professional watching. Here you are in a room with other couples doing exactly the same work, and that turns out to matter. You hear somebody else describe the pattern you thought was only yours. You watch two people find their way back to each other, and something in you softens before either of you has spoken.
The work also moves towards joy rather than towards blame. These three days are not an inventory of what has gone wrong between you. They are a chance to practise what it feels like when you actually reach each other, often enough that you both start to expect it.
Inside the room
A live training you experience, not just understand
Christian teaches a practical piece of relational intelligence, demonstrates it, and gives you a structured way to try it for yourself. You learn by noticing what happens in real time.
01Learn
A clear teaching gives language to what happens between the two of you.
02Watch it happen
Christian demonstrates the practice live, so you can both see what it looks like before you try it.
03Practise
Try it together, and sometimes with one other person or a small group.
04Integrate
Reflect on what changed and how to carry it into ordinary life at home.
A shared way back
Five skills to take home together
- 01Recognise your cycle before it takes over.
Catch the familiar sequence early, while there is still room for either of you to choose something else.
- 02Stay connected through disagreement.
Stay in contact with yourself and with each other when you do not agree, instead of one of you leaving the room emotionally.
- 03Say what is true without blame or withdrawal.
Speak the difficult thing in a way your partner can actually take in.
- 04Hear what lives beneath each other’s words.
Listen for the need or the fear underneath the complaint, which is usually the thing asking to be met.
- 05Repair and find your way back to closeness.
Come back after a rupture and let the relationship end up stronger than it was before.
In their own words
What participants say they took home
Nine minutes of unscripted reflections at the end of a Love, Relationships & You training.
“These days, I shared with my husband things I never shared in 17 years. And it feels so great, so relieving.”
“I’m taking away tools that can make a really good relationship great.”
“We’ve got already a great relationship, and there’s always space to improve this relationship.”
“We came as a couple married 25 years, thinking we knew everything about each other. We left knowing we had barely scratched the surface, and with a way to truly hear each other.”
“We shared things with each other we had never shared in seventeen years of marriage. We finally felt met.”
“As guys, we do not know how to access our emotions. Heart iQ made it safe for me to go there, and it changed everything in my marriage.”
A short film for couples
See what turning towards each other can look like
This documentary follows what opens between two people when they slow down and meet each other in a carefully facilitated space.
A note on the format:this film was recorded at a small deep-dive retreat, where around twenty people were doing personal work on the mat in circle. Love, Relationships & You is a different shape. It is a taught training in a larger room, up to fifty at New Eden and a hundred at Casa Sagrada, where you learn the practices together and try them with each other.
What carries across is the practices themselves, and the quality of attention you can see between those two people. That is what you will be learning together.
Who holds the room
Led live by Christian Pankhurst
Christian is the founder of Heart iQ and author of Insights to Intimacy. Over twenty-five years, his work has reached 5,000+ people across 30+ countries. He teaches all three days himself, supported by experienced Heart iQ facilitators.
“Christian Pankhurst knows how to articulate these messages as well as, if not better than I can. He is a profound source of wisdom and depth.”Neale Donald Walsch, New York Times bestselling author
Stephanie FabelaCertified Heart iQ Coach & Facilitator
Sumir BrownColorado facilitation team
What your contribution includes
Three full days, taught live by Christian
Christian teaches the full three-day training at both locations, joined by a trained facilitation team.
The meal package is included at both locations. Accommodation is extra, and in Colorado it is booked separately in nearby Loveland.
New Eden is capped at 50 people and Casa Sagrada at 100, so the facilitation team can properly support everyone in the room.
Dates and contribution
Choose the room that works for you
Contribution-based pricing begins at €500 or $500 per person. Paying more than the minimum helps make lower entry possible for somebody else.
The Netherlands
New Eden
1–4 October 2026From €500 per personCapped at 50 participants
Three full training days, with meals included. You can add a room, a shared room or camping during booking.
Register for New Eden
Colorado, USA
Casa Sagrada
5–8 November 2026From $500 per personCapped at 100 participants
Three full training days. Meals are included. Accommodation is arranged separately in nearby Loveland.
Register for ColoradoFor couples, the minimum contribution is per person. You register once, together, through the booking journey.
Why the amount is yours to choose
Pay from where you are
The minimum is €500 in the Netherlands and $500 in Colorado. If you have greater capacity, you can contribute more and help keep the doorway lower for somebody else.
The minimum makes the training sustainable and includes all meals. If the floor is what you can meet, you are fully welcome.
During booking, you choose an amount that reflects your income, your obligations, and whatever season of life you are in. Give from capacity, never from strain.
Whatever you choose, nobody will question it. You are trusted to know what is honest and workable for you.
The Heart iQ value promise
If it does not give you what you came for, tell us before you leave.
Take part in all three training days. If, by the end, you genuinely feel the experience did not give you the value you expected, speak to a member of the Heart iQ team before leaving the venue. Your full event contribution, including the meal package, will be refunded.
Travel and accommodation are excluded. At New Eden, any room, shared room or camping charge remains payable. The promise applies to the training and meals, and the request must be made in person before you depart.
You carry the travel. Heart iQ carries the risk on the work itself.Before you decide
Questions worth answering clearly
Do I need previous Heart iQ experience?+
No. Love, Relationships & You is designed to be a first live Heart iQ event. Christian explains each practice before you begin, and the facilitation team is present throughout the training.
What actually happens in the room?+
Christian teaches live, then you practise on your own, in pairs, in small groups and sometimes with the whole room. There is reflection, movement, conversation and time to integrate what you are learning.
Will I have to share something personal?+
Every exercise is invitational. You can pause, or simply watch, or step out at any point. Clear agreements and a trained facilitation team support the room. You remain responsible for choosing what feels right for you.
What is included in the contribution?+
The minimum contribution is €500 in the Netherlands and $500 in Colorado, per person. The training and meal package are included. Accommodation is additional.
What if we are in a difficult place right now?+
Many couples arrive in exactly that place, and the training is built for real relationships rather than tidy ones. What matters is that you both choose to come and are willing to take part at your own pace. If you are currently in crisis, or if there is harm in the relationship, this is not the right setting and the team will point you towards support that fits better.
Do both of us need to feel equally ready?+
No. It is common for one person to find the training first. Nothing is forced, but both of you do need to choose to attend and be willing to take part at your own pace. The short film above is a useful way to see the work before deciding together.
Not ready to book?
Begin with Insights to Intimacy and its companion course before choosing a live event.
Explore Insights to Intimacy →Bring your relationship into the room
Learn a different way to find each other.
Choose the location that fits, read the full event details, and continue when you are ready.
Not ready yet? Begin with Insights to Intimacy