How I Got Initiated into Circle Work

In March 2006, I was hired by Neale Donald Walsch and his ‘Conversations with God Foundation' to run a weekend retreat in Australia. My weekend was part of a larger two-week training that involved other facilitators, including Tej Steiner, the founder of Heart Circles.

Tej is a brilliant man. He’s a visionary ‘social architect’ who has dedicated his life to creating models that bring people into their heart - models that I use in my work to this day.

On that beautiful first morning of my retreat in Sydney, I was excited to have Tej in my event. However, things didn't go exactly to plan.

Although Tej and I eventually became close, our first encounter was epic, and challenged me to my core...

My event began with everyone sitting in a U-shape formation with me at the front. At this time of my life, my facilitation style was the traditional ‘teacher in front of the room,’ and I used an authoritarian, confrontation-based approach. I was still quite heady and not yet embodied in my body, so it was hard for me to really tune-in and feel people on the more subtle levels as I do today. However, what I didn’t have in emotional sensitivity, I made up for with my passion, drive and clarity.

I remember the first night having an exchange with one of the participants, and I pushed her too far. Tej didn’t say anything at the time, but the air was tense.

On the final day, what happened was probably the most challenging moment of my facilitating career. I was in dialogue with the same participant, and once again, I was wearing my ‘confrontational hat.’ Intuitively, I knew it was going to end well, but in the moment, it looked like it was going nowhere. It seemed we were at an impasse. Now, after doing countless retreats, I had been in moments like this before and knew where it was heading, but before I could continue, Tej couldn’t hold back any longer, and he interrupted the process.

“I’m sorry, I can’t let this continue,” he said. “This woman is clearly going into shock and I can’t, in full integrity, sit here and let this happen.”

The whole room went quiet. I tuned in and got present. I knew that what I was going to say and do right then would determine the outcome of the entire retreat and the experience that the participants would remember. I took a breath and asked Tej what he wanted.

He said, “I want us to all get into circle, and I would like to take over and continue the retreat.”

Talk about having the rug pulled from under my feet. From my perspective, I had two choices. I could either stand my ground or let him take over. I chose to make a stand. Why? Everything in my life up to that point had taught me to meet my challenges head-on rather than to collapse and give up. I knew I had the resources to handle this moment.

Through standing my ground gently yet firmly, Tej relaxed enough for the retreat to proceed. Later that day, he expressed his newfound respect for me as a facilitator, after showing that I could hold it all together in a critical moment and not cave in.

After my event was complete it was time to switch roles and participate in Tej's circle. Watching Tej weave his magic during his portion of the event over the next four days was simply breath-taking. He was absolutely right. His model, method and approach was far superior to what I was doing back then. However, I didn’t regret my decision to hold my ground when he wanted to take over my retreat. I was glad I had the strength to claim my value, but I’m also glad I had the courage to stay and see his. By the end of the first day, I knew I wanted to learn everything I could about Tej’s approach and master the Heart Circle Model.

After my first retreat with Tej, I decided to immediately apply the circle format to the retreat I had scheduled in Bali just two weeks later, with 38 people! Tej recommended I start with no more than 20.

He was right. The event nearly killed me! The amount of energy it took to hold, contain and guide an amplified field of 38 different frequencies was enormous, especially as this was the first time I had ever tried it. Most people start with a few friends in their lounge. Not me! I dived from the highest diving board in the pool and did a massive belly flop. Ouch! But that’s how I do it in my life. I throw myself into the deep end and trust that life will hold and support me.****

By the end of the year, inspired to learn more, I moved to Oregon, USA to work with Tej more closely as I deepened my practice of Heart Circle under his guidance and five years later I was honoured to invite him onto my stage at my first Heart Summit in Miami in front of 250 in 2012. Today, almost 14 years after our journey began, we remain close and I still reach out to him for coaching and guidance.

Watch Tej's Presentation at my 2012 Heart Summit

If you haven't already done so, I recommend reading his book on how to create and facilitate a Heart Circle (combined with his beautiful poetry). It's profound, insightful and 100% practical. If you love Heart iQ and what it's about, then you'll love this book.

Grab his book from Amazon.com

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