There is a need in us that runs so deep we can almost lose the language for it. We become used to doing life on our own, to managing what we feel privately, to calling our independence normal. After a while, the longing for togetherness can become so quiet that we barely recognise it.
I want to speak to that longing, because it is at the heart of why Heart iQ exists. When I talk about what only a group can heal, I am speaking about what becomes possible when we allow ourselves to be in relationship with more of ourselves through other people.
Circle as a spiritual practice
For me, circle is a direct, non-dogmatic way to have an embodied experience of the divine. Some people use the word God or Source. I tend to call it the field: the intelligence that emerges when we bring human beings together and surrender to something larger than ourselves.
The experience does not require a particular religion or an institution to stand between you and what you discover. You can enter with your own language, your own questions, and a willingness to notice what happens in relationship.
Circle becomes a laboratory for that. We practise being present with what is happening inside us while staying connected to the people around us. What we discover there has somewhere to go when we leave.
That is why I often say, “As in circle, as in life.” The practice is relevant at the kitchen table, in a difficult conversation, and in the moments when we notice ourselves pulling away from connection.
The goodness underneath the story
At the centre of my work is a belief that who you are at your core is intrinsically good.
Whatever has happened in your life, whatever you have learned to hide or protect, I believe there is something in you that remains worthy of being welcomed. There is a part of you waiting to live more freely and truthfully in the world.
Who you are at the core is intrinsically good.
From this perspective, healing is connected to remembering that goodness. It grows through accepting who you are as you are, without making parts of yourself wrong because they are painful or difficult to meet.
I am interested in what happens when that acceptance becomes an experience. When the vulnerable part is allowed to be present, or the strength you have been holding back has room to emerge, something can begin to soften in your relationship with yourself.
Meeting yourself through other people
When we sit in circle, the people around us can bring different parts of our inner world into view.
Someone expresses a vulnerability we recognise. Someone else shows a strength that feels further away from us. We may be drawn towards a person, or notice how quickly we want to distance ourselves from what they are expressing.
I sometimes describe this as meeting yourself cleverly camouflaged as everybody else.
It is a way of becoming curious about what relationship reveals. The parts we like and the parts we dislike can both teach us something about what we have welcomed in ourselves and what we have exiled. This is part of what I mean by shadow.
When we can begin to love those parts too, our experience of ourselves can become more whole. Circle gives us an opportunity to explore that in direct relationship, where what we feel is happening between living people.
Bringing the practice into everyday life
There is a simple way to begin exploring this outside a formal circle. When somebody expresses something that stirs a response in you, pause long enough to notice what that response is. You might feel warmth towards them, or an urge to turn away.
Rather than rushing to explain the other person, bring some curiosity to your own experience. You could ask, “Is there a part of me here that I find difficult to welcome?” Let that remain an inquiry. You do not have to force an answer or make yourself feel something you do not feel.
The practice is in noticing what has become visible and seeing whether you can meet it with a little more acceptance. That is one way of carrying the experience of circle into life.
Remembering our need for each other
I love what technology makes possible. The fact that we can meet across distances through something like Zoom is extraordinary. Alongside that appreciation, I feel a deep commitment to rebuilding human-to-human connection, including the experience of being together in person.
There is something we receive through togetherness that independence cannot provide. I want us to find that need again where it has become numb or dormant, and allow it to matter in how we live.
My hope is that what we learn in circle reaches our children and the way we relate in everyday life. I believe this practice can help us experience a deeper intimacy with ourselves and with each other.
That is why I share Heart iQ. At its core, it is an invitation to explore what becomes possible when we meet one another with greater acceptance, and remember the goodness that is already here.
